A Doctrine of Marriage

Marriage seems to be the topic of the day, so perhaps it’s time to examine what we believe about marriage.

First, marriage is the oldest institution. It is older than the existence of countries, older than the existence of law, and it is the foundation of family. Since it is the first building block of family, marriage is essential for the continuation of humanity. For this reason it is a bedrock piece of the foundations of civilization.

Another word about the continuation of civilized society through marriage: I believe children born in healthy marriages have the best chance for success. Children raised without an example of both a father and a mother in the home are more likely to have certain struggles in life, including an unhealthy view of marriage, sexuality, and family. In this manner, unhealthy views of marriage and family can grow worse with each generation if not given boundaries.

God has a right to give us input on marriage and did so. There are Old Testament passages which address marriage as being between one man and one woman. There are examples of marriage between one man and multiple women, but I don’t believe these are examples to follow. I also believe the New Testament reaffirms marriage as being between one man and one woman. In Romans 1:24 and following is a very clear statement that same sex relationships are wrong, therefore I do not believe in homosexual marriage.

I personally am not surprised by the actions of government recently to legally redefine marriage. What I am more concerned about is the likelihood that what comes next will be the government mandating to the citizens of the country and to churches actions of acceptance of homosexuality and gay marriage.

I do not believe it best for our country to have gay marriage, but I believe it is absolutely disastrous for our country to begin dictating religious belief or behavior to the citizenry. Nevertheless, Christians were warned by Jesus to expect the world to conflict with us. Marriage is the current battleground in these conflicts.

But, let me be as clear as I can. If Christians had been diligent in resisting the multitude of sinful attacks on healthy Biblical sexuality, the sanctity of marriage, and the importance of family, then the battle lines would never have progressed this far.

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Family

I believe the family is a structure designed by God. Within the family, God intended one man and one women to make a lifetime commitment to one another. These two may become parents and then have the sacred responsibility of raising their children.

Now that I have made the basic statement let me elaborate on it a bit at a time.

God designed the family just as He designed everything else which exists. He has intentions on how the family is supposed to work, and for humans to give the definition of family a makeover is sin. He has the right to be Lord over the family as He has the right to be Lord over all of Creation. This includes bringing judgment at His discretion.

Marriage, the relationship which begins a new family is designed by God and His intentions for it are for one man to be married to one woman. I fully understand the Scriptures include many cases of polygamy. (They also have cases of murder, rape, incest and other deplorable actions we would not endorse.) I believe the nature of people indicates we are intended to have one other marital partner of the opposite gender. We are designed in such a way to desire such an exclusive relationship.

Parenthood is a part of most families and should be taken on as a responsibility to God, society and the children themselves. The possibility of creating children in situations which are not conducive to the child’s welfare, is one of the main reasons sexual relationships outside of marriage are sin. Children exposed to the wrong things too early, especially sexuality, will be adversely affected by that loss of innocence, and parents should take protecting their children from this loss of innocence as a personal responsibility. Children who are not disciplined in regard to their behavior will also face challenges which may well limit their potential for the rest of their lives. These kids often become adults who harm society and cannot understand the need to be in submission to any authority, earthly or eternal.

Relationships and the Church

I believe most people have a need to find another person to share their life with in a deeply intimate way. God gave us this craving for many reasons, but the most intriguing reason is that it symbolizes God’s relationship with the church. (Eph. 5:22-27)

We should also remember there are ways in which this relationship can be corrupted. Fornication, strictly defined as sexual relationships without marriage are outside of God’s will. Adultery, sexual relationships of a married person with someone other than their spouse is also inappropriate. Homosexuality, sexual relationships with a person of the same gender also are also wrong. (1 Cor. 6:9) These general statements, once considered obvious, are far from obvious to today’s culture.

For today’s theology Thursday post, let me elaborate a little bit on the picture of marriage being like the relationship between Christ and the church.

Marriage starts with a commitment made before God and man between the man and woman getting married. Salvation is the point of commitment where a person enters the church, that is, becomes a part of the bride of Christ. This commitment is meant to be a lifelong promise not a temporary arrangement.

The relationship is exclusive, a person who seeks to hold this relationship with God cannot spend their life dabbling in other religions, any more than a married person should spend their life seeking other sexual partners.

These relationships are given definition in Scripture. Marriage is defined as a lifetime relationship between a man and a woman. Changing this definition to include homosexuality, multiple partners, or anything else which seems right to men, is to abandon God’s right to define the shape of human life and behavior. This is akin to those who seek to find God, but reject His plan of salvation in order to come up with their own.

Sharp-shinned Hawk

This is a female immature sharp-shinned hawk. Maybe. The reason I say maybe is that sharp-shinned hawks and Cooper’s hawk are very, very similar. There are a multitude of small differences, but they are so small that it takes a very experienced birder to be sure. Apparently, more experienced than me. I am assuming is a sharpie based on some of these clues. In either case it is obvious it is immature by the brown on the head and back. But the reason I think it would be a female is because it seems larger than one expects a sharpie to be.

Female hawks, including sharp-shinned and Cooper’s hawks, are about 1/3 bigger than male birds. If you look at this picture you will notice that it is feeding on a bird. Birds are the normal diet of these two species. This means a male hawk has a very perilous task in trying to find a mate. If the female rejects the male in too strong of a manner, she might eat him.

For this reason it would be wisdom for the male birds to be very careful when they go courting. In fact, it is not uncommon for male birds to bring an offering to the female of some freshly killed bird. I suppose they have a vested interest in being sure she is not hungry. With the dangers involved in dating, it is just wisdom to take extra precautions.

Relationships are a major source of problems for people too. Although I seriously doubt any of us are in danger of being eaten, we will always be highly influenced by the people closest to us. This fact makes all relationships dangerous in many ways. We could lose our potential for future success. We could align ourselves with a partner stunts our growth. We could lose our family, self-respect or financial stability by engaging in unwise relationships. Even in relationships which seem to be handled the right way can greatly weaken your spiritual walk.

It is probably not surprising then that Scripture says a lot about relationships. From the book of Proverbs describing inappropriate relationships a deadly trap to 1 Corinthians 7 delving into married sexuality, the Bible does a lot to tell us how to be wise in our relationships. Below is one of the most iconic verses applied to marriage, but a closer look will reveal it is about more than marriage and dating, but also business partnerships, our closest friendships and anywhere else that our association becomes a yoke of sorts.

Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 (HCSB)