A Doctrine of Marriage

Marriage seems to be the topic of the day, so perhaps it’s time to examine what we believe about marriage.

First, marriage is the oldest institution. It is older than the existence of countries, older than the existence of law, and it is the foundation of family. Since it is the first building block of family, marriage is essential for the continuation of humanity. For this reason it is a bedrock piece of the foundations of civilization.

Another word about the continuation of civilized society through marriage: I believe children born in healthy marriages have the best chance for success. Children raised without an example of both a father and a mother in the home are more likely to have certain struggles in life, including an unhealthy view of marriage, sexuality, and family. In this manner, unhealthy views of marriage and family can grow worse with each generation if not given boundaries.

God has a right to give us input on marriage and did so. There are Old Testament passages which address marriage as being between one man and one woman. There are examples of marriage between one man and multiple women, but I don’t believe these are examples to follow. I also believe the New Testament reaffirms marriage as being between one man and one woman. In Romans 1:24 and following is a very clear statement that same sex relationships are wrong, therefore I do not believe in homosexual marriage.

I personally am not surprised by the actions of government recently to legally redefine marriage. What I am more concerned about is the likelihood that what comes next will be the government mandating to the citizens of the country and to churches actions of acceptance of homosexuality and gay marriage.

I do not believe it best for our country to have gay marriage, but I believe it is absolutely disastrous for our country to begin dictating religious belief or behavior to the citizenry. Nevertheless, Christians were warned by Jesus to expect the world to conflict with us. Marriage is the current battleground in these conflicts.

But, let me be as clear as I can. If Christians had been diligent in resisting the multitude of sinful attacks on healthy Biblical sexuality, the sanctity of marriage, and the importance of family, then the battle lines would never have progressed this far.

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Duggar Family Rights

In the discussions regarding the Duggar family over the last couple of weeks, you can see how unthinkingly embittered our country has become. For example, one blogger stated no police report was made because they approached a friend in law enforcement, then later cited the police report as the source for their information.

Many have said the parents are too domineering, causing the kids to be repressed. Then in the next breath we are told the parents made a tactical error allowing the two older daughters to interview. The two daughters in question are legally adults and married, and make their own decisions.

Many have criticized the parents for their actions. They took their son to law enforcement. Criticizing them because they were acquainted with the cop is silly. (In the future will people be forced to find a cop they don’t know to report crimes?)

Others have suggested the parents had blamed the girls instead of the young man, an assertion that is drawn from a combination of the girl’s modest clothing and wild eyed speculation.

Others believe they have a right to pass judgement on the treatment program the parents chose. They assert that doing construction is not the same thing as getting therapy. A little research will show this kind of labor is a part of many such programs, both Christian and non-Christian.

I suspect the real complaint stems from these Christian people responding to their family crisis in a Christian manner. They sought Christian advice, Christian treatment, and afterward practiced grace and forgiveness. They did not feel compelled to choose between their son and their daughters. They did not believe that casting their son permanently out of their house and family was an appropriate response.

In the long run, it strikes me as another example of the erosion of parental rights in our country. Too many people feel the freedom to tell other families how to raise their kids, and some seek to codify their ideas into law.

Passing laws which will take away the freedoms of some of us, will in the long run take away the freedoms of all of us.

Family

I believe the family is a structure designed by God. Within the family, God intended one man and one women to make a lifetime commitment to one another. These two may become parents and then have the sacred responsibility of raising their children.

Now that I have made the basic statement let me elaborate on it a bit at a time.

God designed the family just as He designed everything else which exists. He has intentions on how the family is supposed to work, and for humans to give the definition of family a makeover is sin. He has the right to be Lord over the family as He has the right to be Lord over all of Creation. This includes bringing judgment at His discretion.

Marriage, the relationship which begins a new family is designed by God and His intentions for it are for one man to be married to one woman. I fully understand the Scriptures include many cases of polygamy. (They also have cases of murder, rape, incest and other deplorable actions we would not endorse.) I believe the nature of people indicates we are intended to have one other marital partner of the opposite gender. We are designed in such a way to desire such an exclusive relationship.

Parenthood is a part of most families and should be taken on as a responsibility to God, society and the children themselves. The possibility of creating children in situations which are not conducive to the child’s welfare, is one of the main reasons sexual relationships outside of marriage are sin. Children exposed to the wrong things too early, especially sexuality, will be adversely affected by that loss of innocence, and parents should take protecting their children from this loss of innocence as a personal responsibility. Children who are not disciplined in regard to their behavior will also face challenges which may well limit their potential for the rest of their lives. These kids often become adults who harm society and cannot understand the need to be in submission to any authority, earthly or eternal.

The Great Appendix War

I was assigned to be Tessa’s constant companion within moments of her conception. She doesn’t know I am here, but her welfare is the only reason for my existence. So I have watched and guarded her for 10 years.

Under the orders of my commander I have prevented accidents, emotional scars, and heart rending disappointments. But also under orders, I have allowed some of these to take place.

Last December 12 was a turning point. My charge had gotten sick a few days earlier. Her parents assumed it was a minor bug. The next day they took her to her doctor, who misdiagnosed the inflamed appendix.

I could have intervened, but I was under orders not too.

They awoke early on the morning of the twelfth to find their child on fire and sluggish. They took her to the ER. Early that morning the appendix had ruptured.

I could have prevented it, but I was under orders. I neglected my ward for a short time. My commander predestined a better opportunity for this family.

During surgery the commander’s enemies tried to hurt the child. One provoked the appendix to release more infection into her. At an appointed hour I dispatched him. Another was sent to create an allergic reaction. I killed him as he passed through the wall.

A few rooms away her parents prayed in their desperation. It was no sallow bargain, they sought the commander in earnest quiet faith.

The time came for new orders. I began squashing the bacteria spreading through her body. I protected her from furious attacks of the enemy. I was careful to bring about a normal recovery.

Tessa’s life has changed in the year since. The repentance of the parents has remodeled the home in subtle ways. One important feature is they linger over meals, talk about life, and pray together. Tessa is being shaped very differently than she would have been without the spiritual warfare of December 12, 2012.

 

This piece of flash fiction was prepared for The Trifecta Writing Challenge. This week’s prompt is to use the third definition of the word companion

COMPANION (noun)

1

:  one that accompanies another :  comrade, associate; also:  one that keeps company with another

2

obsolete :  rascal

3

a :  one that is closely connected with something similar

b :  one employed to live with and serve another